I am in parent hell right now. Pure parent hell. I am sitting writing instead of holding my babies. I want to go in and grap them and snuggle with them so desperately. Why the hell is sleep training so damn hard on all of us? Why is this suppose to be good for all of us?
I am the one to blame. I know that. I will admit it and take full responsibility for it which is another reason why it is pure hell to listen to my girls cry.
I created sleep monsters by creating night wakers. I know that. It is not something that I intended, it is not something that I knew about. But lately as sleep that once was great (they use to sleep till 1 or 2 in the morning and I could put them down awake!) to what we have been experiencing (babies wanting to play at night and constant waking). I am averaging 3 hours of sleep most nights lately. I was getting more sleep when the babes slept with me but then they decided mommy was a fun juggle gym at 3 am.
It is now quiet. I will go in in 6 more minutes to check. I hate this. Why oh why is this so hard? What the hell is wrong with me? I said I would not do it and now I am doing it. I hate this.
Add your CIO stories here, mommies. Know that I am where you have been. Tell me how it went for you so I am not in such hell. Stay tune for details...Emmy cried for 1 hour, Elsie for 1 hour 1/2...
Please, oh, please tell me the truth from where you have been.
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I remember having to re-do this as Brandon(now 16) got older, probably after an illness. there were lots of ear infections for my boys. And when they were sick, there was a lot more cuddling to sleep. I too knew that I was always creating my own problems for the future, but it is sooo nice to cuddle them to sleep. Well, he was old enough that he was talking (early, at 16-18 months) and when I wouldn't pick him up, he would lay down and cry and say "Mommy won't pick me up" for a long time. Talk about breaking my heart!!! But he did sleep eventually, and as a teenager, loves to sleep. This, too, shall pass!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tami! I am in tears right now just wanting to go to them. Especially b/c Emmy is the one that has always had a harder time following asleep on her own.
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