Mommy's Arms

Are a bit tired tonight. I am learning the hard way the toll that being a "single parent" can be. Eric was suppose to be out of town but got sick. Either way, I would have been on my own tonight with the girls. No problem since I do it most of the time on my own. Tonight a girl friend of mine came by, "Aunt Annie" to the girls. She sat in the other rocker and rocked as I nursed and rocked babies. I had a feeling that I should just put the girls down once they were asleep. BUT since Annalisa was there, I knew as she put it "her ovaries were working over time" as they always are when she is with my girls. So I had her take Emyy while I put Elsie down. And of course what happened was Emmy woke up b/c she wasn't in mommy's arms anymore. Actually, first she rubbed her face against Annalisa's jacket, realized it was NOT mommy and WOKE UP! And at the same moment in time, Elsie woke up!!!! They slept through the two of us running our mouths off but then woke up when got quiet!!!! But as soon as the hand off happened, the mommy in me thought oh maybe this isn't a good idea. The last time it happened with Eric this week, Emmy and Elsie both woke up and took me another to get them down. UGH! I was able to get Elsie back to sleep tonight and now Miss Emmy is hanging out with mommy, tried the swing, EVERYTHING! Well, everything considering I by myself tonight. Daddy cannot do the stroller. So we are just hanging out!

I am not a fan of CIO. I am a fan of nursing and rocking my wee ones. Though it is getting harder and harder as they get bigger and bigger to get them into the crib without waking. I am not sure what I am going to do since I don't want to give up the rocking or the nursing at night. Some nights it is easier than others but I believe in the long run, I will be thankful that I had those quiet moments each night with my girls. I am already half way to the point where I said I would stop nursing them. So they are dependent on me to fall asleep. Not the way we orignally planned it. Read the books and knew what to. Put the babe down drowsy/awake and let them fall asleep on their own. We did that and then somewhere along month 3 or 4 I got into the habit of nursing them to sleep and loved having two sleeping babes in my arms. I don't think I will regret the time I have spent in the rocker (the my butt complains sometimes!). I am sure there are a million things I could get accomplished during that time spent rocking the wee ones.

But knowing that my girls are content my arms is what I will remember.